Santa, Baby

"Who is this scary dude?"

I recently found this picture of EB, taken when she was just a year old. At this young age, eight out of ten Santa photo shoots end disastrously: screaming baby, cajoling parents, and a resigned Santa. In our case, Santa had visited her daycare for the photo opp, and needless to say, EB was terrified. As for Santa…just look at this poor devil. He’s ready for his next shot of Jack Daniels.

Fast forward to three years later, and EB is at an age where Santa Claus is THE MAN. During the few months leading up to Christmas, she talked about him non-stop, planning Santa's Christmas treats and “writing” him letters. While K had believed in Santa when he was a child, I was never taught to believe in Santa—and let’s face it, it’s the parents that are responsible for fueling the Santa make-believe fire. So I admit, teaching EB about Santa is probably more for me than it is for her.


Here is a picture of EB’s letter that she typed--strings of random letters and numbers that she typed into the keyboard. However, she made sure Santa saw all of her “good job” stickers she had collected in the past few months. It's a documented confirmation that she was, indeed, a good girl this year. The girl knows how to make her case--a future lawyer perhaps?

Proof's in the good job stickers

K and I pulled out the Santa Card too often this Christmas season, telling EB that Santa expected a final progress report from us before he determined whether or not she was gift-worthy. Once, during a particularly terrible bout of temper tantrum (legs and arms flailing, rolling around on the floor), K threatened to call Santa to report her behavior. EB shot straight up, eyes popping out, and charged K with such force that she almost knocked him over: “NOOOOOO…..DON’T CALL SANTA!!!! I’ll stop!”


EB was rest assured on Christmas Day, when she woke up with stocking full of treats that she had asked for (along with an electronic Dora toothbrush because Santa would hate for her teeth to rot), along with two gifts she had specifically asked Santa to bring (a train and a tractor), our gifts, and Grandma’s gifts galore. She was so excited that she came running into our room, eyes beaming: "Santa came last night!!!" 


I hope the magic stays alive for may more years to come. 

No more crying...

"Santa, I want a train and a tractor..."

  

Snippets from our cruise

Missed me?

We had been gone for the past two weeks on our annual family cruise.  Last year was our first attempt, and it almost ended disastrously--plenty of tears and tantrums (and EB was cranky too). This year was way better, and I must say, it’s starting to grow on me. When you live over a thousand miles from your family, you have two choices for a family reunion: 1. Gather under one roof for a week straight, slowly driving one another insane, or 2. Meet at a neutral ground (e.g. cruise/trip of some sort), spend some time together, some time apart, relax, take silly classes you would've never imagined taking. We all prefer option 2.

We departed from Galveston on a 7-day cruise in Western Caribbean. As soon as we got into our room, EB began clamoring for the top bunk bed. Last year the top bunk bed was off-limits as I feared that she would roll over and fall seven feet down. But this year, I relented, warning her: “Be careful, you may roll off the bed and hurt yourself." EB retorted: "I won't roll over, Mommy. I'm not round like an orange!”

..........

K and I had assumed that they would have some song and dance routine for entertainment on our first cruise night. We thought EB would like music and dancing, so we got to the show early and found a good spot, smack in the middle of the aisle, about eight people deep on each side. Turned out the entertainer was some low-grade comedian, not very funny one at that. As expected, EB quickly got bored, but given where we were seating, there was no way out lest we step on eight sets of toes. So we toughed it out.

EB (in loud voice): “Mommy, why he can’t stop talking?”

Me (whispering): “Not so loud…he’s talking because he’s trying to be funny.”

EB (in loud voice, right when the auditorium was relatively quiet): “Mommy, why he’s trying to be funny?”

..........

An important part of the cruising experience is the food, glorious food. Buffet, every day, seven days straight, all you can eat. And nobody, I mean NOBODY does it like my family. Here’s a typical breakfast schedule:

9 AM : Mom and Dad picks up EB to go to breakfast. K and I laze around for half an hour, then goes upstairs to join them

9:45 AM: Mom, Dad and Bro (from hereon out, I will refer to them as the Buffet Trio) are done with their first round of food, generally consisting of egg, some type of breakfast meat, and smoked salmon.

10 AM: The Buffet Trio are up for their second round, generally consisting of some type of bread, cheese, juice and fruit

10:30 AM: The Buffet Trio is still eating, wonders how come K, EB and I are already done eating

10: 45 AM: The Buffet Trio is looking around, smacking their lips, ready for their last round of food (usually a toss-up between more fresh fruit or more smoked salmon)

11 AM: The Buffet Trio is finally done with breakfast and moves onto planning their lunch strategy.

..........

No matter what cruise line you go on, there are drunken, tacky people, drinking too much, acting inappropriately.

Dad and Mom were looking down at the pool/hot tub deck with a grin.

Me: “Why are you grinning? Do you see something?”

Dad: “See that big guy over there in a hot tub, with a drink in his hand?”

Me: “Yea...the guy next to the big lady with the bikini that’s too small for her?”

Mom, jumping in: “The guy just grabbed the big girl’s breasts, both of them, in broad day light.”

..........

When you’re on a cruise, you the last thing you need to worry about is being bored. There are activities glore, including dance classes, rock-climbing, roller-blading, wine tasting, even napkin artistry.

Bro: “Do you think it would be weird for me to go to a napkin artistry seminar?”

Me: “Umm…in a word…yes.”

Bro: “But they say that it would be a good place for me to meet women.”

Me: “Sure….if you want to meet 80 year old cougars.”

K: “By the time you’re 80, you’re no longer a cougar, you’re a saber-missing-tooth tiger.”

..........

I couldn't find one single picture that encapsulates our trip, so here 

are a few of my favs. In no particular order.

Monkeying around

A kiss from the girl of his dreams

Racin' is my game

Mom & Bro, tempting fate on the high seas

Future derby girl

Happy Birthday, Baby!

EB turned four today! I can't believe it's already been four years since her arrival. It feels like she was just a baby yesterday...then blink...she’s a pre-schooler, bursting with energy, asking “whys” all of the time, filling K and I with awe and wonder.

Enjoying her birthday treat

We kept the day relatively low-key since she had an early birthday party a couple of months back. But, we wanted to bring cupcakes to her school so that she could celebrate with her classmates. As luck would have it, a friend had a fresh batch of blue, yellow and green frosting leftover from a cake she had made the very same day, so I was able to give EB’s cupcakes some flare without much effort. Check them out.

OK, the green one on the left is a bit messed up.

I was proud; even a bit smug. Until I was reminded that not only did I use a boxed cake mix, but also, someone else made the colored frosting. Hmmph. No matter, EB loved the cupcakes, and couldn’t wait to show them off at school.

Happy birthday, Little Girl. May you always be the happy, curious, amazing person that you are.

History 1

This is one of my very favorite photographs; it sits on top of our television unit with some of our other treasured pictures. The bundled baby is my mom, only a few months old. The boys are her older brothers; her little sister and younger brother had not yet been born. The year was 1945, and Mom was only a few months old. 

About three years after this photo was taken, the family was forced to flee from Guangdong province in southern China to Taiwan. The Communist Party had defeated the Nationalist party, for whom my grandfather fought. My mom's family and several other families had to huddle together on a boat for a short but treacherous journey to Taiwan. There were too many people and not enough room. Mom, who was three years old at that time, was so sick and cold that she cried the entire trip. At the top of her lungs. The folks on the boat, equally cold, tired and fed up, threatened to have a group vote to throw the crying toddler overboard so they could have some peace. 

 

Thankfully, Mom got to stay on the boat instead of becoming fish food, and they eventually reached Taiwan, safe and sound. They were able to re-make their life on the island, where Mom eventually met Dad. Despite the fact that Dad is 10 years older than Mom, he also grew up in China and fled to Taiwan during the very same year. His story is especially unique but since I like to keep my blogs relatively short, I'll talk about Dad in a later posting.

To the folks who were on the boat with my mom -- thank you for putting up with her and not insisting that she got thrown overboard. And--ummm...really? What were you thinking?

To my late grandma and grandpa who saw to it that their kids would stay safe and sound, I wish you were still around to tell me all of the incredible stories. And thank you for all that you've done.

Twirley's Thanksgiving Edition

Today, I take a step back to reflect on everything for which I am thankful. Really, I should be grateful for what I have each and every day, not just during these few days when everyone is basking in the glow of turkey, pies, family and… well… thankfulness. I suppose it’s easy to get wrapped up in everyday trivial nonsense that causes me to vent, fume and snap; I forget myself sometimes. So, here’s Twirly’s special Thanksgiving edition on reasons I am thankful (and here’s hoping that I remember this every day):

• Mom and Dad, for being there for me, always. For immigrating to the U.S. without a job in sight, just so their kids could have a better life. For their crazy quirkiness that allows me to fill up a few pages of my blog, and more.

• My healthy, vivacious, curious little girl, who brings me joy each and every day, and makes me relish being a mom.

• Arlene’s Grocery, a little music bar in Lower East Side. Because without it, K and I would not have met. Speaking of which … 

• …K, for being a supportive, loving, gregarious hubs. Despite our occasional bumps, we are going eight years strong.

• My health. Last month, I went in for a physical for the first time ever. My hypochondriac self was convinced that the doctor would turn up gazillions of things wrong with me (physical, not mental…we all know I’ve got issues on the latter). Turns out everything is great, and my cholesterol is better than 90% of the U.S. population (doctor’s words, not mine). Not that I’m gloating or anything.

• My job. I was part of the 11% unemployed a couple of years ago; not a fun time. I’m grateful that I now have a job that I enjoy (despite periodic frustrations--but what would be the fun in not being able to vent about craziness at work, right?)

• My old friends who know me so well—my past, my faults, my insecurities—and still choose to keep in touch with me.

• My new friends, who have made my frequent moves to different cities a much more enjoyable experience.

• My mother-in-law, whom, despite several generation's age difference (she grew up during the depression, still sends me newspaper clippings and refers to the Internet as “Inter-Web”) appreciates me, loves EB to pieces and is a good mother-in-law.

• For the Internet, affordable plane tickets and wireless technology, without which I would not be able to stay in close contact with mom/dad/bro.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Crad digestive glands for your snacking pleasurefulness

I was going through some old digital photos this morning and happened upon pics from our visit to Shanghai back in early 2005. Dad had lived in Shanghai for his consulting work, and Mom had traveled back and forth between U.S. and Shanghai at the time. K and I decided to join in on the fun and stayed with Dad for 10 days, and had an absolute blast. While we had previously visited China with a tour group, there’s nothing like traveling on your own with someone who has an intimate knowledge of the area. There were no set itineraries; we had the freedom to meander and explore different nooks and crannies of this incredible city.

Dad is one of the biggest foodies that I know, and we ate our way through Shanghai--we were busy  planning our next meal before the current one was complete. One of my favorite places to eat in Shanghai is a food court in the Old Town area, a sprawling cafeteria with hundreds of delectable, Chinese delicacies. Here are some pictures we took:

Since Shanghai caters to visitors and transplants, there are signs with English translations everywhere. Frequently though, some things get lost in translation:

While "ovary and digestive glands of a crad" may not sound appetizing, it's what we know as crab roe, and trust me, it was delicious.

It was a wonderful trip, and we hope to be back there again soon, this time with EB in tow.

Spelling Beast

A few years back, I was visiting my parents and was sitting around the living room when I noticed a video tape sitting on top of their television set. The homemade label said "THE BREAST," in big, bold, capital letters.

What the???...

I’d never heard of any movie called “The Breast.” I first thought that maybe it was a bad 1970's sci-fi/horror movie with marauding body parts. Or, could it be a medical documentary on the female part? Or could it be…Oh. My. God.…Could it possibly be that my parents had left a porno movie lying around in the living room? I told my brother, and the idea made us giggle like schoolgirls.

Day after day, it sat out on top of the TV, taunting us. It was fun speculating for awhile, but finally I could stand it no longer; it was time to confront Dad.

“Umm…Dad. What’s this video?”

“Oh, that. I recorded it a few months back. Thought you two may like to watch it.”

“Uhh..Okay…what’s it about?”

“Some movie about a giant squid. Lots of action.”

“Um. Dad. It says ‘The BREAST’ on it.”

“Oh...really? Ha..ha...I meant ‘The BEAST.’ Must’ve added an ‘r’ by accident.” Dad shrugged, chuckled to himself, and that was that. Mystery solved.

Just a few days ago, my brother was visiting them and found the same tape in their movie collection. Rather than change the tag, Dad decided to scribble out the "R" with a marker..but the way he did it, it just accentuates the "R" even more. See exhibit below.

The BREAST lives on.

 

Halloween posting a week late

I know it’s customary to blog about a holiday right after it has passed, but as you can see, I’m a bit late in blogging about our Halloween. Being behind seems to be par for the course for me. I’ve yet to start a baby keepsake album for EB (should’ve started that four years ago), and I’ve pretty much given up on putting together our wedding album (should’ve done it eight years ago). Anyway...


This is the first year that EB got excited about Halloween. And when I say excited, I mean really, really excited. As in she’d been talking about it for months, picked out her Spider Girl costume back in August and practiced her Spider Girl “look” for weeks. Just take a look at her. This Spider Girl is fierce!

Don't mess with me!

It was well worth the wait, because we literally celebrated Halloween for a week straight.  It started with her friend’s Halloween party, followed by Halloween festival at her school, then trick-or-treating at my work, then Boo at the Zoo, then the grand finale…Halloween night. I was a bit worn out by the time Halloween actually rolled around, but EB was still so pumped that K and I couldn’t help but join in the fun with our impromptu costumes.

The end result of our week: candies, candies and more candies.

We’re not big candy eaters (at least I’m not; K loves candies, all the more reason to get it out of the house). And considering we only allow EB one or two candies a day, it would take probably a year to polish this off. So I did a search on the Internet and stumbled upon Operation Shoebox, an organization that aims to support our troops who are deployed overseas by sending them care packages, letters and moral support. They accept Halloween candies, so we allowed EB to keep one pumpkin-bucket worth of candies, and give the rest away to this organization. In case you would like to donate your candies, here is their mailing address:

Operation Shoebox

8360 E Highway 25

Belleview, FL 34420

operationshoebox.com

Hope you all had a spooktacular Halloween!

Things I learn during my commute

My commute to/from work generally takes about 30 minutes each way, and I actually kind of enjoy it. It gives me time to decompress and catch up on all the important news and info, like the ones I picked up during my drive home last night.

1. The launch of the Kardashian Kard. Kardashian sisters just announced the launch of their own prepaid MasterCard. In just a few short days, you can start carry around their faces in your wallet--OMG!--all Kardashians, all the time! And, as a bonus, you can store up to $750,000 on the Kard. Not sure if that’s enough for me, but it will do for now.

2. The metrosexual look is out, rugged manly-man look is in. I was curious as to what they meant by "rugged," so I checked out the Marketplace Website and here are a couple of their favorite "rugged" looks:

I’ve gotta say, when I think of rugged, I think of grubby jeans, flannel over white undershirt and a pair of work boots. This is more metrosexual-wannabe-rugged. The maize colored v-neck on the left is waayyy too carefully coordinated with the cornflower blue under shift. And the guy on the right…just look at the gold detail on his belt.


And finally, I learned the most important lesson of all from a bumper sticker on the car ahead of me:

3. “Give kids hugs, not drugs.” Well then. I'll be sure to keep that in mind with EB.

So you see, you learn something new every day.

She's Got a Way with Words

EB is in a talkative stage -- she talks non-stop, making up phrases, words and expressing herself with funny logic. It's great fun; here is a list of my all-time favorite EB-isms*: 

hanitizer          noun \ ‘haŋ-ә-ti-zәr\

Hand sanitizer, as in Purell  (“Mommy, can I have the hanitzier?”)

donuts            noun

Something she can eat in place of peanuts because of her peanut allergies (“I can’t have peanuts, but I can have walnuts and donuts”)

nursery school    noun

EB’s reference to the nursing school that K currently attends (“Daddy is going to nursery school”)

dressing sandwich noun
Chicken salad sandwich that I had made, with way too much mayo mixed in (“I don’t like the dressing sandwich that Mommy made”)

age-ier  adj  \’āj-ir\
When one is older (“Mommy is age-ier than me”)

*EB-isms   noun \’ē-bē -izәmz\

1: words and phrases made up by EB 

2: a three-year old’s adorable attempt to make sense of things around her

Choices

WSJ recently conducted a study with the following conclusion: “The starting pay of certain liberal arts major generally clocks in well below that of graduates in engineering fields.”

Ummm…duh. They needed to have a study for this?

The salary chart that they provided was interesting to me though, because it reminds me of the way my own career path played out.

When I was in high school, I was headed for the liberal arts trajectory. I wanted to go into fine arts, but my parents strongly discouraged me (something about not wanting to support a starving artist). I also briefly considered majoring in languages (how cool would it have been to translate for the UN?!), until Mom and Dad reminded me that gazillions of people apply to the UN and competition is stiff. What a couple of killjoys.

Feeling lost, I consulted career guides and pay charts very much like the one posted above. Ultimately, I decided that accounting was a safe bet, so off I went to get an undergrad business degree. Right out of school, I landed a job in the internal accounting group of an investment bank. I thought I had it made -- the pay was good, the job was stable and I befriended many coworkers. The only catch? I hated my job.

So, after a few years I went back to business school and redefined myself as a marketer. Was it worth it? Well, I’ll be paying down my graduate school bills for the next 10 years and I am probably making less than what I would’ve made if I had stayed in the accounting field., but... it was definitely worth it, because I love my job now. And despite the occasional off day, I almost always look forward to going to work.

I wouldn’t change a thing about the choices I’ve made. In reality, I would’ve made a crappy artist and would’ve gotten bored as a translator. But I have learned that in the end, if you enjoy your job and find it rewarding, you will be happy and you will succeed. I hope that when it comes time for EB to choose her career path, I will encourage her to follow her dreams and passions regardless of the career outlook.

But if you  know me, you also know that I can be a control freak, so controlling guiding EB’s career path will be in my nature. Note to self: refer back to this blog when you feel the desire to pull out one of these salary charts to "guide" her career decisions.

Little things that make me happy

As I was pulling out of my driveway yesterday morning, I saw a big, orange hot air balloon, floating over the neighborhood, getting ready to touch down. It was beautiful.

I followed the balloon, windows rolled down, head sticking out, almost causing an accident or two in the process. But I didn’t care; I found myself grinning ear-to-ear. There’s something magical and special about hot air balloons, I suppose because the only ones I’ve ever seen are those in the movies. In a childish way, I imagined the balloon landing down near me. The balloon pilot would invite me to go around the world or go visit some imaginary place.


I followed it for about a quarter of a mile before it disappeared behind the trees. Sometimes its little things like this that makes me happy.

Fashion Statement

Even at her young age, EB has developed a particular taste when it comes to fashion. She does not like to wear anything with buttons (too constricting) and dislikes jeans (soooo 80's!). And, she has a penchant for matching stripes with flowers and layering bold colors from different points of the color wheel.

Folks at her previous daycare dubbed EB "Punky Brewster" for her fabulously loud, layered outfits. I prefer to think of her as a fashion maven. As a case in point, Louis Vuitton paraded big, bold colors down its catwalk in his showing of Spring 2011 collection. Pfftt. EB had predicted this trend months ago.

EB Spring 2010 Collection

LV Spring 2011 Collection
(courtesy of Vogue.com)

And apparently, mis-matched patterns will be all the rage next year, as showcased by my little girl and the glam model.
Look out, Vera Wang.

Glam model favors black
stripes with
orange spotted pants

EB favors flowered print
with orange striped pants

Still hungry, so sad

Dear Kashi:

I love your food and have tried many of your products--cereals, granola bars and waffles--just to name a few. So, I bought your $7.99 pizza the other day and while it was delicious, I was left hungry for more. Literally.

It. Was. So. Very. Small.

So small that we finished it in a few quick bites. As I savored my first and last morsel, I realized that not having a lot to eat actually frees up time to pursue outside interests. So, I used the found time to productive use and wrote you a Haiku:

Got Kashi at store
Tiny pizza great big box
Still hungry so sad


(OK, I never said I was a poet)


Here’s a picture. Note, the widthof the box was around 11.5 inches. The diameter of the pizza was around 9ish inches…what happened to the rest of the 1- 2 inches?

"Where's the Pizza?"

I wanted to give you the benefit of doubt; maybe there’s some type of pizza packaging requirement of which I was not aware. So, I got two other brands to compare: Paul Newman and Kroger brand. Turns out, both of the pizzas were almost the same width as their respective boxes. See below:

Not bad; only slightly smaller than the box

Paul knew how to do pizza

Please increase the size of your pizza next time so that I'm not misled into thinking I bought something more substantial. Or charge less. Or both.

Hungrily Yours,

Twirly

Cranky

I've been feeling rather cranky this week, so this will be a crotchety post about my top pet peeves. So here we go:

Elevator talk.
I generally prefer the stairs to elevators because I. Hate. Elevator. Talk. This is how it goes each time, without fail.
Random person: "Hi."
Me: "Hi."
(silence)
Random person: "Phhew. Another busy day."
Me: "Yes. Ugh. But at least it's Tuesday." (Or replace with "Wednesday" or "Thursday." If it's a Monday, I roll my eyes and say: "I knoww…and it's only Monday." Or if it's a Friday: "Yes! But at least it's Friday!")
Random person: "Yup, better than Monday." (Or if it's Monday: "Well it's almost over." Or if it's a Friday: "Yes, thank God.")
Me: "Yup."
(silence)

And speaking of days of the week...

Facebook status updates that mainly talk about days of the week. 

You are guilty of this offense if two of your last five status updates include the following: "Ugh, Monday", "Got over the hump", "One more day till Friday!" or "TGIF!" I know what day of the week it is, no need to inform me (or everyone else for that matter). You know who you are, so just cut it out. Please.

Multiple question marks and/or exclamation points 

Ever get emails/instant messages with a lot of these??????? It really irritates me!!!!!!!!! And when folks mix things up a bit with ???!!!???!!! I take cover, because I'm convinced that they're about to jump out of the computer and clobber me, so crazy and angry they sound.

More than two bumper stickers on your car.

For some reason I always find myself driving behind people who like to make lots of statements. One or two bumper sticker is fine, but I don't need to know your political affiliation, that your kid is in the honor roll, your favorite basketball, football, roller derby team, that you ran 26.2 miles, 13.1 miles, 1.37 miles and the five different causes you promote. I know you're an interesting person, but for the sake of all that's good, please find a different avenue to share your passions.

That is all. The end.

Lighten up

There comes a time when you realize not everyone shares your perverse sense of humor, as the following exchange fully demonstrates.

K went to pick up EB from her school last week and had the following exchange with EB’s teacher.

Teacher: “I had to put EB on timeout today.”
K (with concern): “What happened?”
Teacher: “When the kids were lining up to go outside, EB wanted to be the ‘line leader’, so she wrestled the boy standing in front.”
K:  “Did she win?”
Teacher (stunned, speechless)

I thought K’s comment was pretty darned funny. And for the record, K was absolutely kidding; he knows that EB’s behavior was unacceptable, and he heavily reprimanded her. But heck, sometimes, people just have to lighten up.

Baby Girl

K loves having a little girl but like most dads with girls, he's anxious about all of the boys lurking around the corner. "I know what they all want, I was there myself," he'd lament. "Plus, I'm responsible for defining EB's relationship with men in general."

Indeed. And K, don't forget to take Chris Rock's words of wisdom: "Keep her off the pole."

P.S. -- in the typical Chris Rock fashion, there is some swearing in the video so play it when kids are not around.

Happy Autumn!

It was a beautiful, comfortable 75 degrees today--fall is finally here! This is my favorite season of the year, and here are the five top reasons.

• Lots of hiking. K and I love to hike, and we've been taking EB since she was 10 months old. She has long outgrown her carrier, but she's a little trooper and does great hiking on her own. Here are some pics from our past hiking trips:

EB 10 months; Arizona

EB 24 months; North Carolina

EB almost 3; Mt. Pinnacle

• Pumpkin breads. I bought a couple of pumpkins yesterday so that EB and I can bake some pumpkin bread together. Look at these beauties--only $2 each. Here's a great pumpkin bread recipe, courtesy of Alton Brown from the Food Network, in case you're interested.

Bake me!

• Chilly nights = bonfire + s'mores. K built this fire pit in our backyard a few months ago...just in time for a blistering, blazing summer. We can't wait to put it to use.

• Halloween! I have not cared for Halloween since my college days, when it was a great excuse for my college friends and I to dress up and get silly inebriated. But now that I have EB, I have a brand-new appreciation for this holiday. In fact, she's been talking about it nonstop for months now, and it's great fun seeing everything through her eyes. 

Buds from school

• And finally...no more flip-flops at work. I can not believe people actually think it's acceptable to wear flip-flops in the office, but that has been the sad reality. Don't get me wrong, I think some toe action is O.K. during the summer time, but showing off every unsightly square inch of your feet is just plain wrong. It creates a hostile work environment.