I Like to Twirl. Sometimes in Slow Motion.: Snippets from our cruise

Missed me?

We had been gone for the past two weeks on our annual family cruise. Last year was our first attempt, and it almost ended disastrously--plenty of tears and tantrums (and EB was cranky too). This year was way better, and I must say, it’s starting to grow on me. When you live over a thousand miles from your family, you have two choices for a family reunion: 1. Gather under one roof for a week straight, slowly driving one another insane, or 2. Meet at a neutral ground (e.g. cruise/trip of some sort), spend some time together, some time apart, relax, take silly classes you would've never imagined taking. We all prefer option 2.

We departed from Galveston on a 7-day cruise in Western Caribbean. As soon as we got into our room, EB began clamoring for the top bunk bed. Last year the top bunk bed was off-limits as I feared that she would roll over and fall seven feet down. But this year, I relented, warning her: “Be careful, you may roll off the bed and hurt yourself." EB retorted: "I won't roll over, Mommy. I'm not round like an orange!”

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K and I had assumed that they would have some song and dance routine for entertainment on our first cruise night. We thought EB would like music and dancing, so we got to the show early and found a good spot, smack in the middle of the aisle, about eight people deep on each side. Turned out the entertainer was some low-grade comedian, not very funny one at that. As expected, EB quickly got bored, but given where we were seating, there was no way out lest we step on eight sets of toes. So we toughed it out.

EB (in loud voice): “Mommy, why he can’t stop talking?”

Me (whispering): “Not so loud…he’s talking because he’s trying to be funny.”

EB (in loud voice, right when the auditorium was relatively quiet): “Mommy, why he’s trying to be funny?”

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An important part of the cruising experience is the food, glorious food. Buffet, every day, seven days straight, all you can eat. And nobody, I mean NOBODY does it like my family. Here’s a typical breakfast schedule:

9 AM : Mom and Dad picks up EB to go to breakfast. K and I laze around for half an hour, then goes upstairs to join them

9:45 AM: Mom, Dad and Bro (from hereon out, I will refer to them as the Buffet Trio) are done with their first round of food, generally consisting of egg, some type of breakfast meat, and smoked salmon.

10 AM: The Buffet Trio are up for their second round, generally consisting of some type of bread, cheese, juice and fruit

10:30 AM: The Buffet Trio is still eating, wonders how come K, EB and I are already done eating

10: 45 AM: The Buffet Trio is looking around, smacking their lips, ready for their last round of food (usually a toss-up between more fresh fruit or more smoked salmon)

11 AM: The Buffet Trio is finally done with breakfast and moves onto planning their lunch strategy.

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No matter what cruise line you go on, there are drunken, tacky people, drinking too much, acting inappropriately.

Dad and Mom were looking down at the pool/hot tub deck with a grin.

Me: “Why are you grinning? Do you see something?”

Dad: “See that big guy over there in a hot tub, with a drink in his hand?”

Me: “Yea...the guy next to the big lady with the bikini that’s too small for her?”

Mom, jumping in: “The guy just grabbed the big girl’s breasts, both of them, in broad day light.”

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When you’re on a cruise, you the last thing you need to worry about is being bored. There are activities glore, including dance classes, rock-climbing, roller-blading, wine tasting, even napkin artistry.

Bro: “Do you think it would be weird for me to go to a napkin artistry seminar?”

Me: “Umm…in a word…yes.”

Bro: “But they say that it would be a good place for me to meet women.”

Me: “Sure….if you want to meet 80 year old cougars.”

K: “By the time you’re 80, you’re no longer a cougar, you’re a saber-missing-tooth tiger.”

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I couldn't find one single picture that encapsulates our trip, so here

are a few of my favs. In no particular order.