Rest in Peace

A little over forty-seven years ago, this lovely lady gave birth to this wee guy that would eventually become my witty, caring husband. Sadly, my mother-in-law passed away tonight after having been hospitalized for 11 days. If the saying is true that every cloud has a silver lining—our silver lining is that we all had a chance to see her in her last few days and say goodbye. Even though she was unconscious throughout, I truly believe she knew that we were there with her.

It was pure chance and timing that we ended up in Detroit during her last week of life. I had a work-related event, and K and the kids decided to join me during the weekend to spend time with family and friends. We knew that my mother-in-law had gone to the hospital due to complications from pneumonia, but it wasn't until after we landed that we were told how much havoc the pneumonia had wreaked on her already stalling system. By the time we got to the hospital, she was unconscious from morphine and drugs that they had pumped into her system. She had deteriorated to such a state that it was a (sad) blessing to see her go.

It’s not news that K’s mom had been sick and her body had been on a steady decline for years. But no matter how much you prepare for it, it’s hard. K has been a trooper throughout, and I can only imagine how difficult it must be for him. 

Although I never had a chance to get to know her too well—distance and generation gap got in the way—I do know that she loved and raised a wonderful son. She fueled his curiosity and passion. She taught him to be kind, for she had a gentle heart herself. She was sentimental and romantic, saving each and every letter and memento. She was a good mother-in-law to me and loved the kids.

May you rest in peace, Peggy Koch. You are loved and will be missed.

Disney Delayed

OK, so this posting is, like, four months late, but there's no way I am going to let the kids' first Disney trip slide without documenting it for posterity. After all, if we are going to spend all that money traveling to the Happiest Place on Earth (TM), we need to be able to brag write about it.

Let me preface this posting by stating that having kids who are five years apart has both distinct advantages and disadvantages. On the plus side, we have quite easily adjusted to a life with two kids since EB was already somewhat self-sufficient by the time B came along. On the down side, it's nearly impossible to find activities that are compatible for both. That's why when EB expressed an interest in going to the Disney World early last year, my first thought was: Hell, no. I imagined having to simultaneously deal with EB's whining AND B's multiple meltdowns/diaper explosions. And what's worse, we would be surrounded by a sea of whining, germ-y kids with their cranky parents who had financially overextended themselves by wanting to make their precious ones' dream come true. But you can only hold out for so long, so when my parents offered to meet us in Orlando so that they could watch B while we took EB to Disney, we knew that it was finally time for EB and Mickey to meet.

We rented a condo near the theme park and for three days, B got exclusive rights to grandpa/grandma doting sessions while the rest of us--K, EB, me and my brother (he decided to tag along at the last minute)--zipped around the theme parks. We were determined to get most out of our Disney investment, so our moves were plotted with military precision: "OK-- I'm going to run ahead after this log flume ride and get the Fast Pass tickets for Magic Mountain. You guys go to Hall of Presidents to see the talking wax figures and I will meet you back there. If the show starts before I get back, text me and I'll go to the nearest gift shop to wait until the show is over. Now let's fan out--GO, GO, GO!!"

A bit stressful some would say, but I say, given the cost of the tickets, a queuing strategery was a requirement. Yes, we were that family at the park, and we had a blast, so there. We were able to get on most of the rides with very little waiting, which is important because on an 85+ degrees day, waiting and happiness very much have an inverse relationship .

Smile! You're at the Happiest Place on Earth (TM)!

"Hi. I'm five years old."

Ten-hut!

EB had an absolute blast, and managed to keep her whining down to a minimum. The only times that she got grumpy was when a Disney staff called her a "princess," as in:   
   "Well, hi there, Princess!"
   "Is this your first trip to Disney, Princess?"
   "See you later, Princess!"

In fact, every time a Disney staff used the dreaded "P" word on my little tomboy, she would go all teenage on me and give me this sullen, indignant look:

Don't call her a "Princess." Ever.

On day four, B got a chance to join us at the MGM Studio (read: grandparents had to fly down to Miami to catch their cruise). It was definitely more challenging to tote around a one-year old, but by then we had had worked most of the Type-A Disney impulses out of our systems. Meaning, we were pretty exhausted, so we were relatively content just strolling around the park at a leisurely pace.

Look Mom, I'm at Disney World!

Hands on experience at "Honey I Shrunk the Kids"

The little dude had no idea what was going on.

Having a blast on "A Toy Story" ride

Overall, it was a great trip: quality time with family, lots of sun and a zip-a-dee-doo-dah of a good time at Disney World. Who could ask for anything more?

Happy Birthday to My Little Man!

My little guy celebrated his one year birthday yesterday. Since we are still up to our elbows with moving boxes, we kept it very low key--a couple of hats, balloons, and a nice ice cream cake from Cold Stone Creamery (P.S. -- no hat in this picture, because as it turns out, he hates hats).

Happy Birthday, Little Man!

We've learned so much about you since when you came out kicking and screaming a year ago.

Like how you absolutely adore and idolize you sister, even when she is tormenting you or when she does the silliest things...

...or how you will put just about anything and everything in your mouth...

...or what a happy little guy you would become and how much you love to giggle and laugh!

We love you, B! We are so very grateful that you came into our lives a year ago, and look forward to watching your personality develop!

Wordless Wednesday

Full-Moon Celebration

BB turned one month old last Wednesday! Here are a couple of pictures of the little guy and me. I was going through our photos and realized that there were virtually no Mommy-BB pics in our collection, so I took the liberty of staging our own photo-shoot session.

The Chinese tradition calls for a Full-Moon celebration for babies once they hit the one-month mark. It is a big deal celebration, since that's when the babies are first introduced to friends and relatives. My parents had a huge Full-Moon celebration for me at a banquet hall and invited over a hundred (yes, a hundred) friends and relatives. K and I neither have the money to throw a huge banquet, nor do we know a hundred people locally in Arkansas (come to think of it, we do not know a hundred people that we would invite to this event). So, we decided to scale BB's Full-Moon celebration down just a tiny bit--the guest list consisted K, EB, my parents and me.

EB got to choose her brother's birthday cake, although in the process, she decided that it was only fair to celebrate her birthday as well. Despite the fact that her birthday is still a couple of months away, we thought: why not? After all, BB wouldn't know the difference anyway. Or so we thought...look at the picture below. BB was fighting hard to reclaim his place in this celebration.

It was a grand celebration indeed. The grown-ups enjoyed a nice bottle of 2007 Earthquake Zinfandel, and BB enjoyed a nice bottle of 2011 Mommy Milk.


Happy Full-Moon, BB!

Weepy pregnant lady in the house

A generous friend gave us a gigantic bag of her 8-year old daughter's outgrown clothes this weekend. So, I decided to make my Fourth of July a clothes-sorting day: I organized all of EB's clothes and went through her baby stuff in search of unisex onesies for Baby Stephen. Simple enough, right? Except I forgot to mention that I've been a bit crazy lately -- in a weepy, nesting, pregnant-lady sort of a way.

My day went something like this:
1. Open up a bag of EB's baby clothes and pull out a cute onesie
2. Marvel at how much she has grown
3. Show it to K
4. Kiss EB and tell her not to grow up too fast
5. Break down in tears

K soon realized that nothing good could come out of him sticking around the house with a semi-crazy pregnant lady, so he sought refuge in a trip to Sam's Club with EB. So there I was, all alone, opening up bag after bag, pulling out EB's little bottles and outfits, marveling at them, and dissolving into tears.

Indeed, my pregnancy hormones have taken me for a ride on the crazy train.

Wacky hormones aside, the cliche is all too true: Time flies by way too quickly and kids grow up too darned fast. Just look at the little slippers that we used to put on her little feet...and compare them to her "new" hand-me-down boots. In the blink of an eye, my baby girl has grown into a little lady.

So when EB asked me to have a "sleepover" with her last night, I happily said yes. I had a great time, reading to EB, chatting with her about this and that, playing with flashlights, and finally coaxing her to close her eyes at around 11 PM. Even though it meant that I had to give up the very little time I have to get stuff done around the house, the "stuff" can wait. Pretty soon, EB is going to be off to sleepover parties with her friends, and this precious time that we spent together will be but a distant memory for her.

Grandparents-Palooza

Looking for Snookie at
Jersey Shore

We took EB on a 15-day "grandparents-palooza" tour so she could spend part of her summer vacation with her most ardent fans. The tour kicked off in New Jersey, where EB enjoyed leisurely days filled with tons of attention from Ah-Gong (my dad) and Nai-Nai (my mom). Of course, almost every day included an obligatory trip to one of the many Chinese Buffet restaurants in the greater Princeton area along with a sprinkling of visits to the park, beach and the pool. It was great to see my parents but after a prolonged period under their roof again, I needed a vacation from our vacation. Thankfully K and I had the chance to visit NYC for a day while EB continued to woo my parents. Uncle A even made a special appearance from Virginia, and had the patience to engage in a few "pretend" play sessions--"Uncle A, let's pretend we're eating at a restaurant!" I'm sure it was tons of fun for a 30-something single male.

Helping Nai-Nai with her favorite hobby

Watching basketball with Ah-Gong

After about a week in New Jersey, EB and K continued onto the second destination of the tour,  Detroit, Michigan. I had to skip this as I'm trying to save vacation days for maternity leave. It was a great visit for both EB and K, since EB had a chance to catch up with Grandma P and Aunt Aud and K had a chance to catch up with all of his Michigan buddies.

With Ms. Olive and Aunt Aud

We've got some work to do on her table manners...

I missed EB and K insanely while they were gone. It's strange; I always thought that I'd enjoy 10 straight days of "me-time." But without them around, the house just felt empty and lonely. I was glad, almost smug, to hear that towards the end of the trip, EB was constantly asking about me and eagerly looking forward to coming home to see me. What can I say? Mommy rules!

Having parents living a few states away is becoming more of a challenge now that we have EB in our lives. We want to make sure EB stays in close contact with them, so we'll definitely have to factor this in the future when we relocate.

In the meantime, we look forward to my parents' visit in late September, when they will get a chance to dote on EB and their soon-to-arrive grandson.

It's . . .

. . .a boy! But, I think most of you already know that since I had announced it a couple of weeks ago (a bit of retro-blogging on my part).

Here’s a 3D skeletor-style picture of the little dude’s profile -- adorable, right? I showed it to Mom, who promptly declared that he looks just like me. My uncle, however, disagreed, proclaiming that he’s a spitting image of K. We showed it to EB, and when we told her that it’s a boy, she looked a bit smug: “I know, Mommy.”

She had asserted that it would be a boy when we had showed her the image of his first ultrasound taken at 8 weeks. On what basis did my little future doctor make this diagnosis? “Because he has short hair.”

She even named the baby “Stephen.” We have no idea where she got the name from, but she’s adamant that this is his name – nothing will dissuade her from calling him Stephen (no offense to Stephens out there; yours is a perfectly good name; we just have something else in mind).

So for now, until we share his official name, Stephen it is.

Can’t wait to meet you, Stephen!

Penguins and Opposable Thumbs

......................................
GUEST POST FROM K.
......................................

EB: Why don’t penguins live in the city?

K: Because they can't afford apartments.

EB: Why can't they afford apartments?

K: Because they don’t have any money.

EB: Why don’t they have any money?

K: Because they don’t have jobs.

EB: Why don’t they have jobs?

K: Because they don’t have opposable thumbs.

EB: Why don't they have opposable thumbs?

K: Because they have flippers.

EB: Why do they have flippers?

K: Because God made every creature unique.

EB: Why did God make creatures unique?

K: Because God loves us.

EB: Daddy?

K: Yes, EB.

EB: Can I have chocolate milk when we get home?

K: Yes, EB.

Happy Mother's Day!

I will not get a chance to talk with Mom tomorrow, since she and Dad have been out of the country on a well-deserved cruise vacation. It’s a bit of a bummer for me, because even though I talk with her a few times a week, it’s weird to not be able to talk to her on Mother’s Day.

We’ve had a lot of conflicts throughout the years, Mom and I. But these conflicts blow over quickly, and throughout everything she’s always been there for me.

Mom is certainly a unique lady. Strong and often time stubborn, she would often joke that had she stayed under Communist China, she would’ve been hauled away to labor camps indefinitely because she was so defiant and strong-willed. And she has certainly encouraged me to be strong, be my own person and not always conform to the social norm.

When I was a pre-schooler in Tokyo, I played on a daily basis with the neighborhood boys, and they played rough. I often ran home crying when they would hit me. But instead of picking up the phone to call the boys' moms, she would shrug, tell me to shake it off, and say: “just hit them back if they hit you again.” I know, most parents today would be horrified to read this, but she was a believer that kids needed to work their own issues out rather than having their parents solve all of their little problems. Often times, the boys’ moms would pay her a visit and advise her that I was acting “inappropriately” for a girl – I was too loud, too wild, used rough words and not lady-like. Mom would look at them directly in the eyes, and say, “well, she certainly learns from your boys, and in my opinion, she shouldn’t be relegated to behavior that’s different from them.”

Mom is also fun-loving. Growing up, our house was always filled with music, and it wasn’t unusual for her to all of a sudden break out into a song and dance in the middle of our kitchen. Adventuresome for her age, she was the 40-something year old mom that would go on the scariest rollercoaster rides and steepest water slide with her teenage kids.

Happy Mother’s Day to my wonderful, quirky, beautiful mom.

And happy mother’s day to all of the moms out there!

The Cat's Out of the Bag

Well, if you’ve seen K’s Facebook posting or if I’ve contacted you directly, you know our big news: I am pregnant!

K and I are thrilled, although this time around our excitement is a bit tempered since we went through a miscarriage last year. But in the end, we’re still excited as heck. After all, you never know what will happen at ANY stage, so there’s no point of being too guarded with our feelings, right?

A few differences this pregnancy: I’m in my 15th week, and my nausea/queasiness is just starting to ease up. This is a change from when I was pregnant with EB. That time, I was pretty much feeling great by the end of my first trimester. And what’s up with the maternity clothes that I wore when I was pregnant with EB? I cannot believe I thought it was OK to dress the way I did back then. My maternity wardrobe situation sent me into a frenzy, and I ended up going on a shopping spree at Gap Maternity and Zappos this past weekend.

We told EB a bit earlier than we should’ve, which made me very nervous at first. I didn’t want to have to have a difficult conversation with her in case something went wrong with this one as well. She was so excited about being a big sister that she announced it to everyone (and I mean EVERYONE ) at her school. At circle time, her teacher asked her if she had some news to share. EB went up, and proudly announced: “I am having a baby!”

To finish off this posting, I want to share a little video from "Google Search Stories" that’s bound to put a smile on your face. 

And in case you are wondering after having watched this video...no, we're not having twins :)

A Pre-Schooler and a Tween

After a couple of difficult weeks, K’s niece (KA) came to stay with us for nine days, providing us with a very welcome distraction from our grief over the miscarriage.

KA is ten years old, and I was definitely nervous before she came. I had never been around a ten year old girl for a prolonged period of time, and kept wondering: what the heck makes a ten year old girl tick? Of course I was once a ten year old girl, but I can't for the life of me remember what I liked to do back then. What daunted me is that she is in this awkward tween stage; you can't neatly fit her into any category. She's not yet in the brooding/moody teenage stage that I'm so dreading, but pass the enthusiastic/fascination-filled preschool stage. 

Happy to say, the visit has been going well and the mystery of tweens has been unraveled. She enjoys swimming. Running through the sprinklers. Singing karaoke (yes, I’ve got a machine at home and we pulled out songs that we can all could sing: "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," "Amazing Grace," which, by the way, is a painfully long song when you can’t sing well). And when all else fails, we will either put on Hannah Montana or she will pull out her hand-held Nintendo. All is good.

Even happier, KA absolutely adores EB and despite their seven year age difference, they get along perfectly. There are moments when their age difference made things a bit difficult. Like when EB had a complete melt down during an otherwise fun mini-golf game because she did not get a nap in, or when KA was bored to tears during the long car ride because all EB wanted to watch was Curious George. But all in all, it has been a good visit so far.

And in a way, KA’s visit has provided me with some comfort. I know that EB and her future sibling, whenever that happens for us, will not be as close in age as we would’ve hoped for. But, seeing KA and EB this week, I take comfort in knowing that despite their age difference, they still spend time together, look out for one another and get a lot out of interactions with one another.