A Very Crinkly Christmas

When I first learned about the Elf on the Shelf thing, I thought it was the stupidest pile of crap. As if it weren't enough to keep up with the Santa Claus deception, (who, by the way, my parents never taught me and my brother to believe), we now have to surprise them on a daily basis with scenes starring some magical, androgynous imp who spies on the kids (try explaining this to someone from another culture -- creepy). And at a hefty $30 price tag to boot.  No wonder parents are so stressed.

I swore I would never take part in the annual Elf-on-the Shelf shenanigans. After hearing co-workers attribute their kids’ angelic behavior to the Elf’s watchful eyes, I decided that the Elf thing was worth a try.
Thanks to the magic of Amazon, the Elf showed up a few days later. I went through the whole song and dance about the Elf’s backstory (the elf reports to Santa, you can’t touch the elf, blah-blahblety-bloop). EB wrinkled her nose, as if she herself thought that was the stupidest thing she’d ever heard. BBoy walked away mid-story, not having heard or cared about a word I said.

Not to be deterred, I started staging my elf, whom I dubbed “Crinkle.” I had Crinkle sitting on the fireplace mantel. I had her sitting on the piano. BBoy barely noticed and continued with his rowdy three-year-old behavior. EB, ever the pleaser, gave an obliging chuckle each time she saw Crinkle – it was as if she kind of knew it was all made up, but figured she had more to lose if she openly displayed her skepticism. By that point, I had way too much vested in this Elf-on-the-Shelf thing. My $30 and my pride were at stake, and it was time to step up my game.

On the third morning of Crinkle’s run, the kids caught her fishing. This made them both giggle, I could see that Crinkle was starting to win over EB.  BBoy promptly gobbled up all of the goldfish, although he took care to not touch the elf.

Over the next few days, the kids learned much about Crinkle.

She liked to eat, and frequently found herself in a pickle.

 

She also liked to cook, although sometimes she made a mess.

 




She had a great oral hygiene, which she absolutely needed what with all her eating habits.

She had a penchant for speed boat racing.

And she got into all sort of mischief liked to play with her friends at night.

 

In the end, I realized that I was actually enjoying this Elf-on-the Shelf thing. It wasn’t even for the kids anymore; it was for me, my little creative outlet before I went to bed at night.

I was actually a bit sad to see Crinkle go. Till we meet again in 2015, Crinkle.

Getting on Santa's Good List

It's that time of the year. EB has been busy writing notes to Santa, trying to ensure that she is on his good list. She does not have much to worry about, being the good egg that she is.

BBoy on the other hand, has been a big ball of explosive tantrums. To be sure, he's had moments of sweetness and redemption, exhibit below.

We will see what the Santa brings tonight. Will it be a lump of coal? Will it be the yellow car that he's wanted? Only time will tell.

A Very Twirley Christmas

Every family has their own Christmas tradition. For example, there’s the Festivus celebration, in which George Costanza’s family initiates “the airing of grievances.” But since the “airing of grievances” is a daily, if not hourly ritual at the Twirley household, we decided to start a few Holiday traditions of our own.


Matching red shirts

There’s no color more festive than red and nothing cornier than the entire family wearing the same colored shirts. Festive and corny, that’s how we roll in the Twirley household. Next year we’ll have to bring the corny meter up a few notches by wearing matching red reindeer sweaters.

Gingerbread assembly kit

I’ve been buying the gingerbread assembly kits since EB’s third Christmas, and it has become quite the fun experience for both of us. In fact we had so much fun with it last year that I bought a gingerbread train kit right after the holidays (read: big post-Christmas discount), with the intention of putting it together on New Year’s Day. If you recall though, that was the day that EB gave us a big scare with her concussion, so it stayed in the back of the cupboard until this year. Let me tell you, gingerbread kits do not have a long shelf life. This thing smelled terrible – like a cross between Play Doh and….well, a year-old ginger bread. EB took a whiff of it and immediately declared it too yucky for consumption. This suited me just fine since I’ve always had a problem with the idea of consuming something that’s been kneaded and handled by sweaty, dirty hands. To me, these kits are for show, not for eating. So if you ever get an already-assembled gingerbread house from us for Christmas, it probably means that we don’t like you very much.

Hiking

This is the time of the year when I really love living in Arkansas. Just a few short months ago, I was dying from the heat of a thousand suns. But what a weather we had today -- sunny and in the high 50s. One would’ve never guessed that it was Christmas, which would’ve turn off some white Christmas fanatics but suited me just fine. We went out to the Pinnacle Mountain for a family hike and enjoyed the fresh air and some physical activity. B-Boy was strapped into Baby Bjorn and was asleep for most of the hike. He woke up every now and then and looked around all confused, his little brows arched and furrowed. He would look up at me, as if thinking: “Where the hell am I? And who the heck are you? And when are you crazy people going to return me to my cozy little capsule?”

A big ol' Merry Christmas, y'all!